I close my eyes, listening to the game on the radio. I’m imagining I’m there at the ballpark. Let’s see. My butt is firmly planted in a molded, hard-plastic seat. On my right thigh rests my scorecard, on the left my gloved-up left hand. But, wait, where will I balance my hot dog? Where can I put my drink? What about my transistor radio? Clearly, my ideal set-up does not yet exist.
Okay, putting cup holders on the seats, like they have in all the big multiplex movie theaters, wouldn’t be that hard, would it? (Are you listening, stadium planners?)
For the radio, I need to either come up with a way to strap it to myself or find a piece of clothing with a correct size pocket. Sadly, the radio–though I just bought it the day of the Yanks/KC game–is fritzy, and needs to be whacked every couple of minutes to get the signal to come back in. Hmm. Maybe I should have gone for a radio Walkman. But sometimes other people next to me might want to hear it, y’know? Either way, though, I need a way to attach the radio to myself, so when I jump up to catch a foul ball, or stand to let someone through the aisle, it doesn’t fall and hit the concrete. (Though maybe that would fix it.)
Now, the scorecard itself. I’ve continued printing out my own scorecard sheet for each game, but I also need the rosters, as well as a pencil. My friend Rich, who is a very smart dude (even if he is a Sox fan), who loves to build stuff and play with tools, has an idea for a scorecard holder he wants to build. The style scorecard he uses puts each team on a separate page, so he currently clips them to a board with binder clips. He puts one on each side, and flips the board over each half-inning. He’d like to build one, though, with a pencil holder on each side, eraser holder, and a way to attach the radio.
If he starts building ’em, I may try it. In the meantime, though, I’m prepping for my next live game (May 28th, Red Sox at Yankee Stadium), and will try to jerrry-rig something of my own. I’ve started keeping my scorecards from previous games in a three-ring binder, but I don’t want to bring that to the park, because what if it rains? Or if I dump my soda? I wouldn’t want to get all those scorecards wet. Still, a three-ring binder might be good–there are pockets in the back to stick the rosters in, it’s nice and firm for writing on, and it can be put in a tote bag easily without curling the corners of the page. So maybe a binder.
Of course, there’s still the unsolvable problem of how to eat a hot dog while keeping my glove on.
In my dream setup, of course, I have an actual desk in front of me, plenty of room, a cup holder, place for my pencil (and some colored markers, too), my radio, rosters, ketchup, reference books… as well as no loudmouth behind me spilling his beer down my back. Hmm. Sounds like I actually want to sit in the press box, doesn’t it. But well, the hot dog vendors don’t come around in there, you can’t catch foul balls in there, and you know the rule: “no cheering in the press box.”
No cheering!? That wouldn’t be any fun at all, now would it? I guess I’ll have to stick with the crowd.
(Did you enjoy reading this blog entry? Please consider buying me a hot dog.)